Blessed by his GRACE! My turning point!

One day I woke and realized that I wasn't happy.

Living situation
Work
Life
Motherhood
Self Image

So I made a decision to make some changes!
I could no longer continue this path and I no longer could use any excuses on why I was still in the situations I was in. I needed to stand up and allow God to bless me! I changed my way of thinking and I no longer let people's view of me and my choices, control me.
Forever I was living to please my family and in secret living an undesirable life. Allowing men to grace my presence and benefit from me, who weren't worthy of the time. My gift became my curse. Being nice has gotten me no where, with relationships and some friendships!
Holding my tongue has only gotten me grief. I lived by the motto, "do unto others as you would have them to do unto you." I lived with a heavy conscious that hurts when others hurt. So I kept my silence and slowly started changing. Then that person would notice the difference in me and in turn place me at fault and blame me for the problems. In reality they were the problem, my fault was being WEAK (foolish, dumb, soft and/or pushover or whatever it may be to you)!

It's true that if people continue to tell that you are undeserving and put you down, then you begin to believe it yourself. I lost hope, believing that I wasn't good enough to have the man of my dreams, so I begin to settle. I hate to say it but finding a good man (that's not already married) seems to be close to impossible in Miami. The mentality that some guys have here is so played out. I was foolish to fall in such a trap and mentality. But everything happens for a reason. I have grown and learned from my trials and tribulations. I had faith but I didn't believe that I deserved happiness. I believed that I was paying for my sins! What I forgot was that God is a forgiving God. I struggled with good and bad, like I was being pulled by both arms in different directions. The devil has a way of making bad things look so good, and that how he trapped me. I was living my life being young and having fun, blind to the damages!

Well I hit my boiling point. I realized that if I kept doing the same things over and over again then my life would stay idle. I would be stuck, dealing with the same bull just a different person and/or a different place. I no longer wanted to live and miss out on my blessings because I was making the choices instead of allowing God to have his way. Every since that day in December, that I made the choice to let God lead the way, everything has been going uphill. I am happy again. I don't have a heavy heart anymore and I have cut all the extra baggage that I had been carrying. I forgave the people who brought pain into my life and I handed it to God. I let it go! I am making choices that will now benefit my future for my daughter and I. I am now thankful for the experiences because I now know that I will appreciate my blessings and they will mean that much more to me. I won't take my blessings for granted and I will remember where I came from and where I've been.

I have more goals to accomplish and with this new state of my mind I will reach them. Those invisible chains I am no longer bond to. I am free! I am happy. Blessed and highly favored! I am destined for greatness and I believe it with all my heart. Times will get hard and trouble will come but I will be able to stand. Nothing and no one will steal my joy, because God is with me and he forever will be.

Those rain clouds that have been over my head are gone. I see with new eyes and I feel with a new heart. What I learned that was most important is that...

GOD HAD ALREADY FORGIVEN, I HAD TO FORGIVE MYSELF!!

God is not through with me yet, he's building me, changing me and restoring me piece by piece!
And I will be forever grateful!