Computer gone Mad!

Sorry, guys but my computer is acting up and I haven't had the oppurtunity to update.
Right now Im at work and taking a much needed but secret break.

HappyBelated Thanksgiving to all and I hope that everyone had an enjoyable holiday.

Well things have been a little crazy for me these last two weeks but I still wont complain. The guy at my night job is furious because I won't persue a relationship with him and now he chooses to walk around the job and not speak to me at all. That's cool. But it doesn't stop there he slams doors in my face and talks shit under his breath while walking behind me. Now this type of behavior only makes me happy to know that I made the right decision and not persue a relationship with this psychotic fool. You really don't know a person, until time passes and the real person emerges. No one at my job would have ever guessed that he would act this way. He had us all fooled and that saying is true "You can't judge a book by its cover."

During this holiday weekend I had the oppurtunity to spend a long awaited night on the town with my two bestfriends Tam and Tee. We had a ball but I will leave all the details for Tee becuase I know that the story will be on her blog, Share My World, if it is not already there.
I have to give a shout out to Number6 for the invite and let yall know that he definitely a wonderful and handsome young man.

Well the little time that I had is up and I will update ASAP. Drop a note and let me know how things are going on in your world.

Oh yeah, if you have the oppurtunity to see the movie Ray, go out and see it. I give it 4 stars!

Later!

Sometimes I find it hard to write on my page because I am so private.
I don't talk a lot or share my life with to many people. So I feel like I am always picking my brain for something to share. So here is something that I wouldn't normally share.

Yesterday was wonderful for me. I had the opportunity to spend some time with a male friend. He is always a great person to be around and he listens well. We started hanging as soon as I got off work. We grabbed a meal from Pollo Tropical and some fries from McDonalds. We headed over to his place and enjoyed a fun afternoon with his family. He helped me clean out my car that so badly needed it and changed a blown light bulb in my tail light. He simply did a few things that a good man would do to help his woman keep up.

He lives in walking distance of my dauhter's school so we took a nice stroll to pick her up. Here in Miami the weather is changing, its cooler in the evenings so we have this nice weather to enjoy. While doing these things and spending time with him, in the back of my mind the only thing that I could think was "Why couldn't this be my life everyday?".

Why is it that I don't have a wonderful man in my life to share with and spend quality time with? I don't ask for much out of a man but when I end up dating someone they can't even fulfill the basics. It's this time of the year when its nice to have someone near and dear to you to share with and enjoy the coming ending and new beginning. But back to my day.
We sat in his room and I read a few short stories out of a book called Chocolate Flava by Zane. I never had that experience before...most guys won't sit still to read anything past the sports section of a newspaper. Now don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with the sports section but dont let it stop there.
After reading a book by Zane we both needed another walk. That sister is hot. Anyways, after another cool walk in the hood, we ventured back to his house to watch a movie called the Recruit. It was pretty good and it kept our attention. We ate dinner and finished the night away by talking and laughing about life. And guess what...I was happy.
There was no need to go anywhere and spend hella cash. It doesnt take much to have an enjoyable time with someone. All I ask for realness, less the drama... a man to be a man.
Basically what I'm feeling, is that it's nice to be able to have someone in your life that enjoys your company and same interesting lifestyle. To be able to share with compassion and understading and without ridicule.

I am officially "Caving In"

"101 Things About Me"

1. I'm brown, thick and loving it.

2. I love money.

3. But I hate shopping.

4. My booty is flat and my hips are wide.

5. I want to be an advocate for "thick" women. (Big girls need love to!)

6. My favorite movie is "The Color Purple"... (You told Harpo to hit me!)

7. I have millionaire taste... but broke peoples' money.

8. I still live with my mama! (So basically I'm homeless)

9. I HATE MY BABY DADDY! (Not hate, but I dislike him very, very, very much)

10.I usually date unattractive men! (When did ugly niccas start cheating!)

11. I have been blessed to have 5 very close female friends. (with very limited drama)

12. I love my younger brother. (And so does all my friends.)

13. I would give my life for him and my daughter.

14. My daughter is the reason why I never gave up.

15. I broke my foot this year. ( I miss my heels.)

16. I work two jobs. (And i'm still broke!)

17. I've owned over 200 teddy bears and dolls at one time.

18. I'm a proud LEO.

19. I think that Cancers' and Scorpios' are crazy.

20. Conch is the only seafood that I eat.

21. I love to eat out! ( I always order pasta)

22. I love acoholic beverages. ( But I'm not an acoholic...)

23. I love big black men with big stomachs. (They are my teddy bears.)

24. I date big men cause I know I will always eat. (Big men keep money...they gotta eat.)

25. I love going out.... I'm always on the go.

26. My mother can't stand me becuase I look and act like my daddy. LOL

27. I love music.

28.When I have money you can find me at Best Buy on Tuesdays.

29. I want a husband and all the wonders that come along with marriage.

30. I love when it gets cool in Miami.

31. I'm an army brat.

32. People take my kindness for my weakness.

33. I'm a professional ...(but still ghetto, when neccessary)

34. I'm a DolphFAN!! ( I love football and I would marry Zach Thomas)

35. I love the Miami Heat....and Dwayne Wade!!

36. My favorite color is purple.

37. My favorite color to wear is black.

38. I love getting pedicures. (Gotta keep the feet tight)

39. I don't wear clothes from the flea market.

40. But I seem to always find myself there.

41. I tend to dress casual. (A pair of jeans and a nice top.)

42. I don't wear makeup...well only when I wanna look cute.

43. Everyday my mom asks me to wear lipstick. ( A lil lip gloss will do.)

44. I don't have patience for grown stupid folks.

45. When I eat, I get full really fast. (I never finish a meal)

46. I love taking candle lit, hot bubble baths!

47. I can't wait for the day my husband washes my back!

48. I am a hopeless romantic.

49. I always thought my life would be like a fairy tale. (Its more of a ghetto tale)

50. I think to much!

51. I have lots of dreams, but once I wake up I can't remember them.

52. I love chocolate...cakes...ice cream...candy bars

53. Gummi bears and lemon heads are my favorite purse candies.

54. I hate going to the dentist.

55. I have a fear of falling. (I dont skate or run if I dont have to.)

56. Sanford and Son and Martin are my favorite late nite shows.

57. When I was younger I liked dating older men.

58. Now that I'm older...I don't, they to old now!

59. I can't stand talking on the phone with someone with no conversation. (Hello, think of something then call me back!)

60. I love Avon.

61. I dont know how to cook a lot dishes...but you won't starve!

62. I wish I could fake my death so I wont have to pay the bill collectors.

63. I like wearing mini skirts and shorts...but I rarely do it.

64. Some days I wish that I was invisible. (No paritcular reason why.)

65. I have a bad memory. (Sorry)

66. I don't like club fights. (I keep wastin my drinks...Damn!)

67. Can't stand the HATERS! (Not that anyone is hating on me.)

68. I wish I had a stable baby sitter.

69. Death has taken some people that were really dear to me.

70. I love poetry...sometimes I even write. (Rarely do I share)

71. I love expensive and classy perfume. (So tired of rubbing those pages on my neck!)

72. I love doing crossword puzzles.

73. Jigzone.com is my favorite internet puzzle spot.

74. Fast driver... slow drivers move to the right.

75. Can't stand awful drivers. (Better be glad I don't flat tires for fun!)

76. I have nice beautiful hair...but I appreciate a good weave!

77. I would consider myself a ride or die chick...until its time to die!

78. I used to worry about other peoples opinion.

79. Sometimes I still do...but only with my friends.

80. I'm glad that I am almost done...I aint that friendly with my business.

81. I want to make love in freaky places with my husband.(Can't wait to meet him.)

82. If I could have one consistent thing in life it would be happiness.

83. Okay two...and a flat stomach!

84. I love Ramen Noodles and Chef Boyardees' Beefaroni and Ravioli.

85. I hate traffic. (Even more when it's raining)

86. I love being on the beach at night.

87. I was in the marching band in highschool as a dancer.

88. I miss dancing.

89. My mom is my single parent inspiration.

90. My friends that have and are pursuing their dreams are also my inspiration.

91. Daily I'm striving to be more Christ like.

92. I'm getting better at it...but I have a long way to go.

93. Sometimes I feel lonely.

94. I crave for a mans' true love and attention. (Getting better at that too.)

95. I hope that I continue to be a great example in my duaghters life.

96. I pray that before I leave this earth that I touch kids and adults lives in a positive way.

97. Doing this list allowed me to search my mind and heart about who I really am.

98. I love who I am and what I am to become.

99. Im not afraid of ghost but of the evil people that lurk around everyday.

100.My greatest gift is God saving a poor soul like me.

101. I am THE PERFECT VERSE TO A TIGHT BEAT!

I hope that you all have trully enjoyed learning more about me. I would greatly appreciate if you would be so kind to drop me a note and let me know that you were here. I really want to know that I'm not writing to myself. Thanks

Could it be?

Maximum emotions
pumpin in my heart.
Is he really into me,
or is he just playing the part.
Holding me close through the night,
making me feel... oh so right.
Rubbing my curly black hair,
like my father used to do
when he was there.

Dark and chocolate,
just the way I like em',
Damn he looks so sweet,
how bad I wanna taste him.
Making me feel like I was really his,
and no one else was there.
Been hurt so many times before
to scared to be me
and share.

He could really be the one
but to bad I will miss out.
Cause no one else is gonna
get the chance to do what the
other one did... so bye bye
I'm out.
(whispering, as I tip toed out)

Different Love

I am so tired I don't know what to do. Two weeks and I have been working two jobs and going to school two nights out the week. And I'm finally have a night off. All I want to do is sleep, sleep, and sleep.

And I did!

I was so tired and so drained that I couldn't finish my entry. I was asked to go out by my several different friends...My mind was saying yes but my body was telling me no. I don't like when I have to say no, especially to my friends that don't get to see or talk to me that much because of my hectic schedule. At times all this working gets to me but I have to remind myself of the bigger picture... My future.

As I'm sitting at this computer I am consumed with early morning phone calls with grief. My cousins' grandfather has just died this morning and my other close and dear friends' grandmother is not doing so well. These situations are very similar because the grandparents were major roles in raising my friends. They actually have a different and special bond with the grandparents because they actually were raised in their households.

Now on my hand, I never lived with any of my grandparents and I love them dearly but I know it's a different love from the way my friends love their grandparents. Actually I only had one special bond with my grandparents. It was with my grandfather on my fathers' side. He passed away many years ago when I was a little girl. During the time that I knew him, he made it known that he truly loved me. I adored him as I adore my father and till this very day I miss him and think of him often. I even know that life for me and my family would truly be different if he was still alive. He kept the family together and strong. His word was law...No questions asked.
I am now faced with the situation of my grandmother on my fathers' side of being ill. Right now it's all testing so there is not a definite answer to her illness. So I'm left here thinking what's next. Being that I live really close to her I want to be here for her and do as much as I can like I used to.
I used to clean up for her and keep up her hair and nails. But as my other girl cousins grew up I passed the responsibility on to them. They actually live with her and I basically had no choice. There was no need for me to clean up after able folks so my duties were done. And the girls had been waiting for the day that they could keep up her nails and hair.

The first part of my life, we never stayed in the same city or the same state for that fact, as any of my grandparents . So I rarely saw my grandparents so I guess that's why I didn't have a tight bond with them. I never spent summers with them or major holidays without my parents. I realized that my grandparents did less for me and my brother because we had parents that were completely there. They didn't have to step in as parents like they did for my other cousins. Growing up I didn't understand that, I thought that they loved them more because they gave them more. What a reality check. I guess that's apart of growing pains! You live and you learn.
Apart of me felt bad that I didn't love my grandparents the way my friends loved theirs. But they love them like they love their parents ...I never had that opportunity.

Leave me a note and let me know your grandparent situation.

Until then,
Lady T

It's been a month???

I didn't even realize how long it has been since I updated my blog.
Well of course lots of things have happened in my life so let the update begin.

I am now working as a para during the day time at an elementary school. I work in the ESE department with the EMH students. These kids are off the wall awful but sometimes they just can't help themselves. But all in all I still love coming to work to see them. Now the teacher that I work with is downright pitiful. He has no classroom structure nor control. He expects me to come in and do his job... NOT GONNA HAPPEN!!! He gets paid the big bucks not me, so I will continue to do what my job description entails.

Due to working so much and going to class, my body is getting super tired. I haven't slept pass 3 hours in three days. But I'm striving for success and this is what I have to endure for the moment. God is working in my life and I know that he will carry me through and give me the strength to maintain. It feels good to be able to contribute again to the household and feel like I'm carring some of my weight. Each time my payday swings around my mothers' smile is wider than mine.

My daughter is ever so active and keeping me laughing. She is definitely the light of my life and without her, I'm nothing. Because of her being apart of my life and God, I am the woman that I am. She was exactly what I needed and she was right on time... even though some days I question "What have I gotten into"? There are days that I dont want to be mommy but that only last for a moment.

Ok J, from my night job turned out to be a pest. He is very intelligent and even fun but he has female tendencies. And I tend to have male ways ... according to TeEricka. We just don't match, but were are definitely cool as friends and even that is becoming a burden. But I will maintain a freindly status since we work together. There is no need for ugly faces while working with someone if you can help it. Oh yeah and now I have to work with a female coworker at both of my jobs....CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!! I really don't care to see anyone I work that much (unless it was Method Man), this is definitely gonna be a struggle.

Well I have to go back to work because I have been ditching the teacher since I got here. I know he is not the happy camper right now... just imagine how awful it is for a teacher to have to be completely responsible for his own students.... It's down right unfair. LOL

Until next and it won't be long.
Be easy and prayed because there is an important election going on!
Much love,
Lady T